Counseling Others

Here's a few reminders that I have learned from other mentors over the last 25 years of church ministry:

1. The Word of God is our best Counselor- Psalm 119:24. There is no substitute when it comes to seeking advice about a domestic relationship, a job, a health concern, a financial matter, etc.

2. You can only lead someone as far as you are spiritually- Romans 15:14. Our kids, and spouse, and loved ones, will grow as much as we have grown (or less).

3. Counseling is causing one to grow up in Christ- I Corinthians 14:20; Ephesians 4:15. One of the goals in counseling is for the patient to solve his own problems from the Word of God where he is dependent on Christ, not the counselor.

4. Sin is irrational...and remember that in counseling with others.

5. Don't give counseling outside of your field.

6. Listen and gather information (James 1:19). Listen for themes and patterns- Proverbs 18:13; Proverbs 14:15.

7. Identify the problem (Proverbs 19:20; Gal. 5:19-23)- Get to the source of the problem (i.e.- bitterness- Heb. 12:15-16; depression; immorality; not surrendered- Rom. 12:1-2; etc.).

8. It’s been said: “Tears can deceive; there are different reasons why people cry." II Corinthians 7:9-10 reminds us that sorrow doesn’t always lead to repentance that is godly. Peter wept, but wasn’t walking with God (Matthew 26:75).

9. Always be solution-oriented in your counseling- Ephesians 4:29 (Give help, hope, and homework).

10. Observe time limits and be confidential. Keep it short and don’t bring 3rd parties into your conversation.

11. Remind folks that their problems and temptations are not abnormal (I Corinthians 10:13; Hebrews 4:15).

12. Be careful in counseling the opposite sex (Titus 2:4-5)...have some accountability.

13. Stress prayer as a vital tool (Matthew 21:22).

14. Thinking right leads to right actions, feelings, habits, etc.

15. Always follow-up with individuals you are helping. And remember, there’s no problem God’s grace cannot overcome.

The Importance of Sharing our Faith

"YOU FORGOT MY SOUL"

YOU LIVED NEXT DOOR TO ME FOR YEARS,
WE SHARED OUR DREAMS, OUR JOYS, AND TEARS;
A FRIEND TO ME YOU WERE INDEED.
A FRIEND WHO HELPED ME WHEN IN NEED.

MY FAITH IN YOU WAS STRONG AND SURE.
WE HAD SUCH TRUST AS SHOULD ENDURE.
NO SPATS BETWEEN US EVER ROSE,
OUR FRIENDS WERE ALIKE--AND SO, OUR FOES.

WHAT SADNESS, THEN MY FRIEND, TO FIND,
THAT AFTER ALL, YOU WEREN'T SO KIND.
THE DAY MY LIFE ON EARTH DID END,
I FOUND YOU WEREN'T A FAITHFUL FRIEND.

FOR ALL THOSE YEARS WE SPENT ON EARTH,
YOU NEVER TALKED OF SECOND BIRTH.
YOU NEVER SPOKE OF MY LOST SOUL
AND OF THE CHRIST WHO MAKES ME WHOLE!

I PLEAD TODAY FROM HELL'S CRUEL FIRE,
AND TELL YOU NOW MY LAST DESIRE--
YOU CANNOT DO A THING FOR ME;
NO WORDS TODAY MY BONDS WILL FREE.

BUT DO NOT ERR, MY FRIEND, AGAIN--
DO ALL YOU CAN FOR SOULS OF MEN.
PLEAD WITH THEM NOW QUITE EARNESTLY,
LEST THEY BE CAST IN HELL WITH ME!
(Dr. Hoyt W. Allen, Jr.)

John 3:36- "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life; and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abideth on him."